Coaching Genius vs. Communication Breakdown: Helping Athletes Find the Balance

In every sport, coaches play a defining role. They shape not only how young athletes perform, but also how they think, feel, and experience their sport. And here’s the truth: some coaches are absolute geniuses in the game. Their tactical knowledge, technical expertise, and ability to see potential in athletes is second to none. They are brilliant minds who can change the trajectory of a player’s career.

But brilliance in sport doesn’t always translate into brilliance in communication. Passion can spill over into shouting. Frustration can turn into criticism. And too often, what could be an opportunity to inspire becomes an exchange that leaves athletes feeling small, discouraged, or even humiliated - often not the primary intention. 

This is where the conversation gets tricky. Because while abusive behavior should never be tolerated—and must be reported through the proper safeguarding channels—there’s also a deeper layer we need to acknowledge: how athletes themselves can take ownership of their response.

The Non-Negotiable: Accountability

Let’s be clear: no athlete should ever endure verbal abuse, intimidation, or humiliation under the guise of “coaching.” All accredited coaches are bound by safeguarding policies, and when behavior crosses the line, it needs to be reported. Silence only enables the cycle to continue, and every time we look the other way, another young athlete pays the price.

Parents, administrators, and governing bodies have a duty to ensure that coaching environments are safe and constructive. That’s the baseline.

The Growth Opportunity: Athlete Resilience

At the same time, sport mirrors life—and life is full of people who don’t always communicate in the best way. We cannot control every word or action of a coach, but we can equip our athletes with the tools to filter what is useful from what is not.

This means helping them:

• Extract the gold: Find the tactical or technical nugget hidden in the noise.
  
  
• Discard the baggage: Let go of what feels personal, belittling, or unhelpful.
  
  
• Hold their identity: Stay rooted in their own sense of worth, rather than allowing external voices to define them.
  
  
• Stay open: Learn that even clumsy communication can contain feedback that moves them forward.
  
  

In doing this, athletes not only become better players, they also become more resilient young adults—able to face tough bosses, difficult conversations, and high-pressure environments later in life.

Understanding Without Excusing

It’s important to acknowledge that many coaches who come across as “too hard” are not malicious. More often, they are modeling the way they were coached. They are ex-athletes repeating patterns, or passionate individuals who haven’t yet developed the communication skills to match their knowledge.

This understanding doesn’t excuse poor behavior, but it reframes it. When athletes see it this way, they can stop internalizing the negativity as “truth” about themselves, making it personal, and instead recognize: this is about the coach, not me.

The Path Forward

So, where does this leave us?

1. We do not condone abuse. We call it out, we report it, and we protect athletes.
   
   
2. We empower athletes. We teach them to filter, to self-regulate, and to extract what helps them grow.
   
   
3. We create perspective. We remind athletes that a poor delivery doesn’t erase the genius in the knowledge—and that they don’t need to carry someone else’s baggage as their own.
   
   

This balance—between accountability and resilience—is where real growth happens.

Why This Matters

At the end of the day, sport should be a place where young people thrive. They deserve coaches who lift them up. But they also deserve the skills to stand tall when the communication falls short.

That’s why programs like Complete Athlete exist: to help athletes understand their emotions, strengthen their mindset, and take an active role in creating their own positive sporting experience. Because the truth is, while they can’t always choose their coach, they can always choose how much power they give to the words and actions of others.

And that choice? That’s where confidence, resilience, and real performance begin.