Are You Renting or Owning Your Athlete’s Journey? Understanding Mindsets That Shape Success

In a recent podcast, I heard a metaphor that struck me deeply — the difference between a renter’s mindset and an owner’s mindset. The more I thought about it, the more I realized how relevant this is in the world of youth sports — not only for athletes, but for parents too.

When you rent a house, you use the space, but you don’t put down roots. You do just enough to keep things livable. If something breaks, you call the landlord. You don’t invest in renovations or worry about the long-term health of the garden, because ultimately, it isn’t yours.

But when you own a home, everything changes. You’ve taken a risk, maybe even leveraged yourself to get there. You tend to the garden. You repaint, maintain, and fix things — often before they become major problems — because the integrity of the house matters to you. You know that if you ignore issues, the value of your investment is at risk. You’re building something that lasts.

Now, let’s apply this to the sporting journey of your child.

Parents: Are You Renting or Owning the Journey?

Some parents approach their child’s sport as renters. They drop off at practice, expect the coach to handle everything, and stay relatively uninvolved — until there’s a “leak in the roof.” Then, there’s panic, blame, and a scramble to find a quick fix.

Other parents take the owner’s mindset — sometimes to the point of over-ownership. They’re at every practice, micro-managing nutrition, recovery, and even training decisions. They invest time, money, and emotional energy as though the success of the journey rests entirely on their shoulders.

Neither extreme is necessarily wrong — but both can create tension if they are not aligned with the athlete’s mindset.

Athletes: Are They Renting or Owning Their Journey?

This is where it gets interesting. Some athletes treat their sport like a rental. They show up to practice because it’s expected, put in enough effort to get by, but they don’t invest beyond what’s necessary. When things get hard — a poor result, a tough set, a conflict with a coach — they may mentally check out, assuming someone else will deal with it.

Other athletes step into ownership. They set goals, seek feedback, and look for ways to grow. When there’s a problem — poor performance, mental block, or skill issue — they take responsibility and work with their support system to address it.

The Misalignment Problem

Here’s where friction happens:

• A parent may be in owner mode, pouring resources, energy, and attention into a sport that their child only treats as a rental. The parent’s expectations rise, but the athlete’s investment remains low. This can lead to frustration, pressure, and conflict.
  
  
• Or the reverse — a parent may be in renter mode, casually engaging with their child’s sport, while the athlete is ready to fully own their journey. This lack of parental support can leave the athlete feeling alone, unheard, and under-resourced.
  
  

Finding Alignment

The key is not for everyone to become an “owner” overnight — but for parents to have honest conversations with their athletes about what the sport means to them right now.

Ask questions like:

• “How much do you want to invest in this sport right now?”
  
• “What does ‘success’ look like for you this season?”
  
• “What support do you need from me to help you tend to your garden?”
  
  

If your athlete is in renter mode — that’s okay. Sometimes they just need the space to enjoy the experience, develop skills, and figure out what they really want. Pushing them to act like an owner before they’re ready can waste resources and damage the relationship.

If your athlete is in owner mode — fantastic. Match their investment level with your support, but don’t take over. Ownership means they lead; you provide the tools, encouragement, and safe environment to help them grow.

Tending the Garden Together

Whether renting or owning, we can all “tend the garden” by teaching athletes to respect their environment, their coaches, their teammates, and their own talents. We can model what it looks like to take responsibility when things go wrong and to address challenges with courage and urgency.

Because here’s the truth: ownership is not just about taking on more work — it’s about building a mindset that will serve our children for life.

When parents and athletes are aligned in how they see the journey, the ROI — in confidence, resilience, and joy — grows exponentially.

Coaching Renters and Owners: How to Meet Athletes Where They Are and Unlock Their Potential

As coaches, we pride ourselves on our ability to push, motivate, and inspire athletes to achieve more than they thought possible. But have you ever stopped to think about the mindset each athlete brings to your training environment — and how your own mindset shapes the way you coach them?

Recently, I came across a metaphor that has shifted the way I think about this. It’s the idea of the renter’s mindset versus the owner’s mindset.

When you rent a home, you keep things tidy enough to stay out of trouble. You don’t over-invest in the space because, ultimately, it’s not yours. When something breaks, you call the landlord and wait for them to fix it.

But when you own a home, everything changes. You take pride in it. You invest in maintenance, upgrades, and improvements. You act quickly when there’s a problem, because the integrity of the house matters to you.

Now let’s bring this back to your team.

Coaches: What Is Your Mindset?

Before we look at your athletes, it’s worth asking yourself an important question: Are you renting or owning your role as a coach?

• Do you show up, run the session, and leave — waiting for administrators, parents, or someone else to fix problems when they arise?
  
• Or do you truly invest in the long-term health of your program? Do you tend the garden of your team culture — addressing issues quickly, reinforcing values, and creating systems that will last?
  
  

An owner mindset as a coach means taking full responsibility for the environment you create, even when it’s uncomfortable. It means doing the little things that don’t show immediate results but build trust, consistency, and long-term growth.

Athletes: Renters and Owners

Now let’s look at your athletes.

Some athletes come into training with a renter’s mindset. They show up, do what’s required, and leave. They may not yet see the bigger picture, or they may be in sport for reasons outside of performance — social connection, fitness, or structure.

Others step in as owners. They take responsibility for their preparation, ask questions, seek feedback, and do the extra work.

Here’s the crucial question: as a coach, how do you respond to these differences?

The Temptation to Coach Only the Owners

It can be easy to pour your energy into the “owners” — the athletes who are self-motivated, eager, and committed. They’re fun to coach because they buy into the process.

But what about the renters?

• Do you dismiss them as unmotivated?
  
• Do you invest in them only as much as they invest in themselves?
  
• Or do you see them as potential future owners — people who just haven’t yet found their reason to fully commit?
  
  

The truth is, some renters stay renters — and that’s okay. But some are simply waiting for the right moment, the right connection, or the right breakthrough to step into ownership. As a coach, you have the power to help that transition happen.

Unlocking the Potential of Every Athlete

Here are some ways to get the most out of each athlete, regardless of their starting point:

1. Identify Their Mindset Early
   Observe how they approach training. Are they showing up because they love it, because they feel obligated, or because someone else is pushing them?
   
2. Have Honest Conversations
   Talk to them about their goals and what they want from the sport. Clarify what ownership would look like for them and ask if they’re ready to step into it.
   
3. Create Pathways to Ownership
   Don’t demand full ownership right away — build small, manageable steps where they can take responsibility. Maybe it’s tracking their own times, planning a recovery routine, or setting one training goal for the week.
   
4. Coach with Curiosity, Not Judgment
   Instead of labeling athletes as “committed” or “lazy,” get curious about what’s behind their current behavior. Some renters are protecting themselves from failure, past disappointment, or burnout.
   
5. Celebrate Shifts
   When you see a renter take an ownership step — staying late to work on a skill, asking for feedback, encouraging teammates — acknowledge it. Positive reinforcement grows ownership.
   
   

Taking the Next Step as a Coach

The renter/owner metaphor is just one of many ways we can understand the athlete mindset — it’s not the full story. Human motivation is complex, and every athlete is unique. But thinking about your athletes (and yourself) through this lens can open up powerful new conversations and help you approach coaching with more intention.

This is exactly what we explore in our Complete Coach Mentorship Program.

The program is designed to help coaches:

• Shift their own mindset — from simply running sessions to becoming leaders who create thriving, sustainable cultures.
  
• Recognize and work with different athlete mindsets — so they can support both renters and owners in reaching their potential.
  
• Build systems and language that unlock buy-in — helping athletes take greater ownership of their journey in a way that is authentic and sustainable.
  

When coaches learn how to tend to the garden of team culture and guide athletes toward healthy ownership, they don’t just get better results — they get more connected, engaged, and motivated athletes.

And that’s what the Complete Coach Mentorship is all about: equipping you with tools, frameworks, and support to grow as a coach, elevate your team environment, and transform athlete development from the inside out.