Between 2020 and 2024, I had the privilege of working with a phenomenal business coach who would often say, “You cannot outwork your identity.” At first, the statement seemed simple, even obvious, and it didn’t hit me with the weight it deserved. But as I’ve worked with more athletes, parents, and coaches, this idea has grown in significance. I’ve come to realize how profoundly our self-image—our identity—affects everything we do, both on and off the field or in the pool.
Think about it: If a young athlete believes they’re not “academically gifted,” no amount of external motivation or academic training will make them study harder. Why? Because they’ve already decided that’s not who they are. Their actions and behaviors will consistently reinforce this belief. Similarly, if an athlete thinks they are "just a regional qualifier," they will behave in ways that align with this perception, even if they are physically capable of more. No matter how hard they train, they won’t be able to “outwork” the limits of that identity.
This concept is deeply tied to self-image. Every one of us carries around a mental blueprint of who we believe we are. Often, this identity is not something we’re even consciously aware of, but it dictates our thoughts, actions, and results. Our self-image is built over years, through experiences and feedback we receive from others.
For athletes, this can be a major limiting factor, and as coaches or parents, we have a significant role in shaping these identities—often without even realizing it.
How Parents and Coaches Shape Identity
Statements like “he’s not a sprinter” or “she’s too lazy” may seem harmless, but they have a powerful effect on a young athlete’s self-image. By labeling them, we unknowingly lock them into a limiting belief. If you tell a child they’re not a sprinter, that child is likely to believe it and subconsciously act in ways that make it true. Similarly, when we describe a child as lazy, we create a self-fulfilling prophecy—one where the child identifies as lazy and begins to act in accordance with that label.
In my Complete Athlete Program, we work with both athletes and parents to ensure that the language used around performance supports an athlete’s growth rather than limiting them. We help athletes create an identity that they are proud of, one they believe in and trust.
The Power of Self-Image in Athletes
Every action an athlete takes, every decision they make, is consistent with how they see themselves. You simply cannot behave in a way that’s inconsistent with your self-image. Let me give you some examples that might sound familiar:
A swimmer tells themselves, “I will be more calm for my races in the future.” But if deep down, they believe they are an anxious person who can’t handle pressure, that positive affirmation will be ineffective. Their core self-image—their identity—sabotages their performance.
A young athlete says, “I’m not good at math,” rather than accepting that they simply failed one test. This is more than just an isolated failure; it’s a limiting belief that can affect future academic performance. When the athlete identifies as someone who isn’t good at math, they’re less likely to try and improve.
A tennis player might say, “I’m not competitive.” By doing so, they set a ceiling on their ability to push themselves and compete. They reinforce a narrative that limits their growth in both racing others and competing with themselves.
Changing Self-Image: Maxwell Maltz's Insight
The connection between self-image and performance isn’t just theoretical. It’s been studied for decades, notably by Maxwell Maltz, a plastic surgeon who observed the profound psychological changes in his patients after physical procedures. For some, a simple cosmetic adjustment—like removing a scar—transformed them into more confident, outgoing individuals. For others, even after the surgery, they remained dissatisfied. Why? Because their negative self-image went deeper than the physical change.
Maltz realized that true change requires more than altering the external—it requires reshaping one’s identity from the inside out. This concept translates perfectly to athletes. If an athlete sees themselves as "incapable" or "not good enough," no amount of physical training will change their outcomes.
How Can We Help Athletes?
At Complete Athlete, we emphasize the importance of identity in every step of our coaching. The true key to lasting performance improvement lies in helping athletes shift their self-image to align with their potential. We help them build an identity they believe in and can trust—a self-image that’s both empowering and realistic.
A self-image must be grounded in reality, but it also must stretch the athlete to grow. We encourage athletes to shift from negative, limiting beliefs to empowering ones that allow them to see and pursue bigger goals.
Here’s an important truth: Every one of us is wired for success. Deep down, we all have an instinct to achieve, to be happy, and to succeed. Our subconscious is like a goal-striving machine. Present it with success, and it will work to make that a reality. Present it with failure, doubt, or insecurity, and it will deliver those outcomes instead.
For example:
“I hope I don’t mess this up” is a failure goal disguised as a concern. Your subconscious will work to fulfill that expectation.
“I don’t want to come last” will focus your mind on losing, often resulting in a self-sabotaged performance.
It’s crucial to focus on what you want, not what you fear. As athletes, parents, and coaches, we must be vigilant about the stories we tell ourselves and the narratives we reinforce.
The Role of the Coach and Parent
Our role isn’t just to develop physical skills; it’s to guide athletes in crafting an identity that supports their ambitions. Every word of feedback, every conversation, contributes to shaping their self-image. By being mindful of this, we can create a culture of belief, possibility, and resilience.
At Complete Athlete, we work with athletes to challenge their limiting beliefs and break free from self-imposed ceilings. We help them understand that they can’t outwork their identity, but they can change it. With the right tools, mindset, and support, athletes can reshape their identity in a way that leads to bigger accomplishments.
The key lies in being mindful of how you—whether as an athlete, parent, or coach—are shaping your own and others’ self-image. Shift the narrative, and you shift the outcomes. Because at the end of the day, you truly cannot outwork your identity. But you can rewrite it.
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